I wondered wat killed Sanjay : was it the betrayal,
the bus,was it me or was it Sanjay himself'
'Hum apni manzil ko paane k liye kya kuch nahi karte..
Aur sab paane k baad hume aisa kyu lagta ha ki humne
jindagi se ye to nahi maanga tha..'
So true na..Most ppl if not all suffer frm this 'I m not really sure of wat I want' disorder..So we all live to achieve that elusive thing in life..Which most often is a glam clad lifestyle, professional success,or a hot bod probably...So is thr a way to know wat exactly one wants..
Very difficult..Crazy it may sound, but the filmy formula of 'close ur eyes and see wat u desire the most' might just work here..
Whether we r sure of wat we want or not, knowing so brings a certain peace in life..
So What did I want frm life..Applied the close ur eyes formula..And I got the answer..I wanted no big bucks in life..I jst wanted my frens n family to be around, and work in a good corporate, not necessarily a big corporate to do sumthng of interest..Love is sumthng that we all want..I hv had my share of love..But lately I hv come to realize that I cannot probably handle this thng called love..So my ambitions are preety small u see.
So had I had my ambitions..Yes and NO..As of now none of my close frens either frm school or coll are at this hell called Gurgaon..Here I am, working for an MNC which pays me decent but I see no life in this place..OK I hv some good mates at off. but u need 'em 24x7...dnt u..? i miss 'em all..my frens,my family, my love..But I guess i hv screwed it up big time and there s no gettin back now..
But the irony is, I had it all and then I lost it all..Y things went the way they went..Y I did certain things the way I did..And now, here I am..far frm being myself..
Wish I cud resurrect things..I want it back..my Life...
